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Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect and Communicate with Your Baby, by Tracy Hogg, Melinda Blau
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Tracy Hogg knows babies. She can calm even the most distressed or difficult infant, because she understands their language. Hence, her clients call her 'The Baby Whisperer'. Her incredible sensitivity and ability to read infants' cries, coos and assorted baby noises quickly earned Tracy the admiration and gratitude of high-profile couples, including a host of celebrities. In this remarkable parenting book, Tracy demystifies the magic she has performed with some five thousand babies. She teaches parents how to work out what kind of baby they have, what kind of mother and father they are, and what kind of parenting plan will work best for them. Believing that babies need to become part of the family - rather than dominate it - she has developed a practical programme that works with infants as young as a day old. Her methods are also applauded by scientists: 'Tracy's is a voice that should be heard. She appears very knowledgeable about modern infant research and has incorporated this to a level parents can understand. In spite of all the baby how-tos on the market, this one will stand out.'
- Sales Rank: #3016340 in Books
- Brand: Random House
- Published on: 2001-02-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.21" h x .87" w x 6.02" l, .85 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 304 pages
- Understand your baby's every coo and cry.
- How to get baby to eat, play, and sleep on a schedule.
- How to identify which type of baby yours is-Angel, Textbook, Touchy, Spirited, or Grumpy.
- How to change any & all bad habits (yours and the baby's) in just 3 days.
Amazon.com Review
The last thing new parents can find time for is quiet reading, so many helpful books on infant care rely on bullet points and a "let's get to the point" writing style. Tracy Hogg, a neonatal nurse, teacher, and mother of two, uses these techniques to good effect in Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. Focusing on newborns and their parents, her simple programs are a blend of intelligent intuition and methods based on years of experience. The first half of the book is devoted to E.A.S.Y--her name for creating a structured daily routine for you and your baby that makes the most of your baby's awake times and also leaves time just for you. These concepts aren't designed to force your bundle of joy into not following her body's needs, but rather to create a feasible middle ground between total rigidity and on-demand food and sleep (and no time for mom to shower). If it still strikes you as too regimented, keep reading. The author makes room for differences in personal style and includes short quizzes to determine whether you're a "planner" or a "winger", and what level of daily structure you are likely to find helpful. In the same chapter, she identifies five general temperaments of infants, how to get an accurate feel for yours, and what methods of care are likely to be the most effective for his temperament. Her statement that babies prefer routine is backed up by research from the University of Denver. While most of the book relies on anecdotes to get the points across, Hogg does find room to back up some of her statements with quotes from various researchers and institutions. Included at the end of the book are assurances that E.A.S.Y. can be followed even with a colicky baby or one who's been ruling the roost for the first few months. Frustrated parents might like to read the last page first: "all the baby-whispering advice in the world is useless unless you're having a good time being a parent" is an excellent reminder to enjoy this time with all of its ups and downs. --Jill Lightner
From Library Journal
Hogg, an English nurse and founder of Baby Technique, a Los Angeles-based newborn and lactation consulting firm, has a way of calming and caring for babies that led one of her clients to dub her "the baby whisperer." In this, her first book, she teaches parents how to decipher "infants' language"Dtheir cries, gestures, and facial expressions. Her E.A.S.Y. (eat, activity, sleep, your time) method offers a relaxed, commonsense approach. Every aspect of care for mom and baby is covered, with interesting charts and clear references. There are many good books on baby care, such as Arlene Eisenberg and others' What To Expect the First Year (LJ 6/1/89), Jodi A Mindell's Sleeping Through the Night (LJ 6/1/97), and, of course, Dr. Spock's oeuvre, but this book possesses unusual tenderness and heart, and it respects babies as people, albeit little ones. For all public libraries and any parenting shelf, this is the perfect gift for a new mom and family.DAnnette V. Janes, Hamilton P.L., MA
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
"Miracles are her business" Jodie Foster "The honest truth is that Tracy Hogg has provided me with more insight into the things that matter than anyone else." -- Alain de Botton Observer Review "She achieves what, to hard-pressed parents, seem like miracles." Mail on Sunday "...in a different league than all other 'how to manage as a parent' books." Daily Mail
Most helpful customer reviews
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
I wish I had this sooner!!
By Heather
This book should be given to ALL pregnant ladies! I have twin girls who were born 7 weeks early. I had gotten into the habit of nursing them to sleep and CONSTANTLY holding them, which worked until they started gaining weight. I knew I wanted to sleep train them, but our doctor said "No, they don't weigh enough" (at 11lbs). I didn't intend on ferberizing them. Then 2 other twin moms suggested this book. I followed it, and in 3 days I went from being a human pacifier with a bad back to a lady who has time to write a review, AND shave my legs! I like that I can sleep train without crying it out. My girls are 5 months, but I wish I had this from day 1! Buy this for all of your friends. This book, a bottle of wine, and a gift card for coffee.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
We are all Baby Whisperers now
By Dr. Lindeman
[...]
What are “Combination Sleep Schedules“?
They are considered to be compromises between “Parent-led” and “Baby-led” methods. According to Babycenter.com, “…combination schedules provide the consistency that babies and parents need without the hassle of a more rigid, timed-to-the-minute routine.”
The best example of the method is Tracy Hogg’s “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer“, co-written by Melinda Blau.
Word to the Whisperer
I argue (here, and here, for example) that pretty much everybody in the baby sleep world offers some kind of compromise between both camps. It’s only a matter of degree. But Hogg (who left us far too early in 2004) provides us with the best explanation of a common-sense baby care, spun in a Yorkshire accent.
Combination or Common Sense?
I will not be the first reviewer to point out that, for all it’s acronyms and British accents, “Baby Whisperer” essentially offers good old-fashioned common sense. As such, Hogg places herself in the tradition of Ben Spock. Hogg concludes her book, in part, like this:
My wish for you is to relish every moment, even the tough ones. My goal is to give you not merely information or skills, but something even more important: confidence in yourself and in your own ability to solve problems.
Sound familiar? It should. It’s a version of Spock’s famous “Trust Yourself” formula that rocked the parenting world fifty years prior. By 2001, it was old-fashioned advice!
But the book is not entirely derivative, and there is even a fair amount of innovation (Hogg’s acronyms, E.A.S.Y., and S.L.O.W. (see below) are unique, as far as I know). Her major contribution to the field is her emphasis on parents paying attention to their babies, engaging them in a kind of conversation. Hogg is on to something here. It is almost certainly the case that human communication begins at a very early age, perhaps the earliest of ages. Hogg is right to suggest to parent that they appreciate the “messages” that their babies send them, and to communicate back in real human language.
My only quibble with Hogg’s suggestion is her tendency to echo an annoying pattern of speech in which parents refer to themselves in the third person. “Mummy will be right back”. “Mummy doesn’t like it when you do that”.
Pronouns are hard. Pronouns are hard for anybody learning a language, even their first language. Anybody learning a new language knows that you understand more than you speak at every point along the learning curve. Children understand you when you say “I” and “me”. They will muff the pronouns when they try them out, but they understand you. For heaven’s sake, people, if we are to converse respectfully with our children, let us respect their ability to understand pronouns!
S.L.O.W. Down and Take it E.A.S.Y.
Hogg doesn’t say this explicitly, so I just did it for her: Baby Whisperer philosophy is based on slowing down, taking deep breaths, and listening to your baby. Both acronyms, as corny as they sound, help anxious hurried parents get to know their babies.
S = Stop; L = Listen; O = Observe; W = What’s up? (Hey, she needed a “W”, right?) In other words, absorb what you’ve heard and seen and evaluate what’s going on for your baby. It’s a bracingly simple and effective tool. I wish I had such an acronym to recite while walking the floor with my colicky first-born! Cleverness aside, it’s important to remember that your baby is a human being that is learning to interact with the world via communication. Hogg reminds us we do better to start early.
Another of Hogg’s contributions to the baby sleep literature is her clever E.A.S.Y. acronym. E = Eat; A = Activity; S = Sleep; Y = You. The innovation is the insertion of activity between eating and sleeping. This way, parents will avoid the temptation to allow their babies to develop bad sleep associations. To do this, it’s important to separate feeding from the moment of sleep. The activity needn’t be anything stimulating: to the contrary, stimulation prior to sleep is never a good thing. Hogg recommends changing the diaper, singing a song, reading a book, etc.
As for the “Y”, I suspect Hogg needed another letter to spell a nice word. Otherwise, I can’t see why she included it. Hogg really doesn’t need to tell mothers to eat, take a shower, sleep, etc. She doesn’t go as far as Baby Wise Gary Ezzo, who recommends “Date Night” for parents. Indeed, for parents without extended family or disposable income to pay a baby sitter, the latter really isn’t possible. Hogg’s Hollywood clientele could afford it perhaps, but not us normal folk. Surely mothers need to care for themselves, otherwise they’d soon be incapable of taking care of their babies. I’m just not sure they need to be told this. I’m going to stick with the suggestion that she needed the letter “Y”.
One More Abbreviation
Hogg ends the book with an excelling “troubleshooting” chapter, featuring the mnemonic ABC. A = Antecedent. What came before the sleep problem? (Kudos to Hogg for using the word “antecedent”: it’s a dying word, I fear). B = Behavior. What is your baby’s part in starting this sleep problem? C = Consequences. What was kind of pattern resulted from A and B? Usually, the problem to be solved is a bad sleep association, and Hogg walks us through the disassociation process. But I suspect that the ABC method could help unpack other sleep problems as well.
Finally
As I’ve said before, I’m a lumper and not a splitter. And as such I’ve argued that we’re all basically “combination schedulers” now. I say this because experts from Ezzo at the parent-led end of the spectrum, to Sears at the baby-led end, all recommend following a baby’s cues, but providing her with structure. To Tracy Hogg’s credit, she says this explicitly.
We’re all Baby Whisperers now. Or we should be anyway.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
This book is a must for anyone who cares for newborns!
By Sunbeam
I work as a postpartum doula (aka 'Baby Nurse'). This book is my textbook and I recommend it to all my mommas and have used its principles for the babies with consistent success. In a nutshell, Tracy Hogg's recommend a simple routine that begins with eating, followed by activity (playtime), and then nap. This routine is repeated every 2-4 hrs. You will know what baby is crying for if she is on a routine and you know that since you just fed her, what she is crying for is not more food, but probably sleep!
Tracy's mantra is 'Start as you mean to go on.' If you want your 8 month old baby to sleep only in mommas arms, do it when they're 1 wk old! But if you want to be able to lay baby down in the crib and leave him to peacefully fall asleep for naps and bedtime, you've got to get them used to doing it from the beginning.
There's no crying-it-out or heartless rigid schedules, but neither is there a 'baby's running the show' and momma's surviving on 2 hrs of sleep at night. When it's bedtime for baby, Tracy recommends a simple technique called 'Pick-up-put-down', where whenever baby cries, you pick her up only until she stops crying, then put her back in bed immediately. After doing this enough times, baby gets tired and falls asleep. In just a few days of doing this consistently, baby need less and less of this, until she is contentedly soothing herself to sleep in her own crib.
I will say, not only does this stuff make sense, it works. And for me, it pays! People will pay $200 a day to have me stay in their home and sleep train their baby! (Of course they could just buy the 1 cent book off Amazon and read and follow it themselves... But some people can afford to pay someone to help, and I'm happy they hire me!)
One baby I helped was a 7 month old, breastfeeding baby boy. He was nursing on demand, sleeping only 20 min max at a time during the day. During the night he was up 4-7 times in an 8 hr period of time. His momma was ragged and exhausted as she tried to satisfy his needs while keeping up with a 3 yr old and helping with the family business as well. He was a chubby 21 lb bundle of smiles, so there was not an issue of hunger going on. He just didn't know how to self soothe himself to sleep. He knew only how to nurse himself to sleep. Then the slightest disturbance would wake him back up and he didn't know how to drift back to sleep. Well, using the pick-up-put-down methods to put him back down in bed, combined with a good routine as outlined by Tracy Hogg, by the end of a week, this little guy was taking 1 long nap (2.5 hrs) and 2 shorter 45 min- 1 hr naps during the day and sleeping a solid 11 hrs at night! And he was so much happier--no more fussy, fussy. And he had a rested, happy momma.
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